On Finding A Wife

“It was a fact, universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.” These words begin Jane Austin’s most famous novel Pride and Prejudice. They are also painting a theme on my life at present, in juxtaposition to the werewolf theme that has been oddly frequent in its occurrences (inside joke.)

Essentially, having established myself and settled into my new house, my community now presumes that I must be in want of a wife. I was invited to lunch by a coworker where it was pointed out that his wife was happy to introduce me to women in the community. In the post office I was introduced to a woman with the aside, in English, that, ‘Brendan if you need someone to cook for you, she could be it.’ Two days ago an employee from the mayor’s office approached me at the café and flat out asked if I needed help finding a wife. Being the normal age for marrying, and presumably fabulously wealthy, as all Americans are, my community is completely unable to fathom why on earth I am still single. I tried to explain but was largely successful. Before my next attempt I shall have to learn the darija for ‘emotionally stunted’ and ‘completely self-centered’…